LOVE AND LOVE Reflections

Growing up in the early 2000s, there was a fun show hosted by Kwami Sefa Kayi on Ghana Television (GTV) which I enjoyed so much, titled: It Takes 2. It was a very entertaining and educative programme which sought to unravel and test the knowledge of partners, friends and comrades who thought they knew themselves really well – their likes and dislikes, interests and disinterests, goals and visions, passions, aspirations etc. It was a programme that to me, explains the old adage “It takes two to tango” , and the fact that relationship building involves work of two. In the song “Takes Two to Tango” by Louis Armstrong, one stanza of the song explains: You can sail a ship by yourself, Take a nap or a nip by yourself. You can get into debt on your own. There’s a lot of things that you can do alone But . . . Takes two to tango, . . .  Everything about life is about relationships, and it takes two to build a loving relationship. Relationship is team work, and...

“To err is human and to forgive is divine”; “No one is perfect, so don’t worry about it.” These are normally the words of those who easily forgive and do not hold grudges. Love does not hold grudges. It does not resent. Love is not a “record keeper” of wrongs – it does not keep a record list of wrong things people have said or done. Love forgives! Forgiveness is ceasing to feel angry or resentful towards; pardoning an offender or offence. It is one characteristic of long lasting, happy and pleasure-filled relationships. Some people have been badly offended by others, and so many years after, they still carry grudges towards those people that wronged them. They keep recalling all the offenses – this is because they are very good “record keepers” and the list is there to refer to. On the other hand, others who have been badly hurt talk instead about the good they have enjoyed, and the positive things that are happening in their lives now – these are the people with the loving...

After my article about "Cultivating Transparency In Relationships” ( http://samueladjeilove.blogspot.com/2018/07/take-away-face-mask-cultivate.html#links ), which I spoke about the fact that there are no loving relationships without transparency; and for that matter, partners should be opened and honest to each other, I had a lot of messages from many quarters interrogating and seeking for further explanation as to how far one should go to be open or transparent in a relationship; and whether it is advisable to “open up” all your secrets to your partner in a relationship in the name of transparency? It is for this reason I’m busy this evening writing this article. Yes, you should be transparent and open in your relationship; but does that mean you should “cut yourself open” to your partner? All lovely relationships require that some space be created. In ordinary terms, there should be no secrecy in relationships, but privacy should be allowed.   Build Boundaries And Res...

This is Love in Reaction to provocations.   Love is not easily provoked; it is not irritable and touchy. To be irritable or provoked means “to be near the point of a knife.” But love is temperate; mild and moderate in behaviour. Love has learned that patience is not just a virtue; but simply the best way to live. Loving people are in control of their emotions. What Makes us Angry? Someone said, “When we are angry, always ‘the heart of the problem is primarily a problem of the heart.’” Arguably, anger stems out of our selfish interests which we regard in one way or the other as lack of respect for our personality, and a violation of our rights. Most of us also use anger to get what we want – to intimidate others into yielding to our interests and desires; and many give in just to avoid further conflict. But this has always come at a price which many of us seem not to know – hurt feelings, loss of love, and the possible physical harm. Three Important Facts That Tell a L...

Many of us have face masks put on in our relationships. We are not “known” by the people who should know us. For us, nobody knows what really goes on within us. Nobody knows what we are thinking. We can never be “predicted”. We portray a different person than we really are. Because we think that is the best way to safeguard ourselves – our identity – in the relationship. However, those who have lovely and lasting relationships have one characteristic in common – and that is openness. They have a certain transparency, allowing people to see what is in their heart. They are open, “clear” and unclouded. They are honest about their feelings, about what they like and do not like. They have nothing to hide from their significant others,  knowing that if they are open, there will be people who cannot keep from loving them. Intimacy without transparency? There has been no loving relationship without intimacy; and there can be no real intimacy without transparency. Without trans...