CREATE SPACE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

After my article about "Cultivating Transparency In Relationships” (http://samueladjeilove.blogspot.com/2018/07/take-away-face-mask-cultivate.html#links), which I spoke about the fact that there are no loving relationships without transparency; and for that matter, partners should be opened and honest to each other, I had a lot of messages from many quarters interrogating and seeking for further explanation as to how far one should go to be open or transparent in a relationship; and whether it is advisable to “open up” all your secrets to your partner in a relationship in the name of transparency?

It is for this reason I’m busy this evening writing this article. Yes, you should be transparent and open in your relationship; but does that mean you should “cut yourself open” to your partner? All lovely relationships require that some space be created. In ordinary terms, there should be no secrecy in relationships, but privacy should be allowed. 

Build Boundaries And Respect Privacy

You do things together, you socialize together, and you find shared interests together. These are lovely and sweet, but don’t ignore the fact that you are also separate individuals – and you might have separate interests and needs.

There are at times your partner want to be and do things alone, or want to have a sober reflection and take stock of his or her life; or want to keep a friend, client or company’s confidentiality; or don’t want you in the washroom. There are times your partner needs to do things on their own and in their own way. They have the right – in fact, they don’t actually have to seek permission from you. 

Allow your partner space and privacy; it will only strengthen and keep your relationship fresh and lively. You can be rarely apart – but respect each other’s need for privacy – to move away from you for a while. 

Have Your Own Life 

One factor that will make you successful at your relationships is your ability to fulfill your happiness on your own by doing things you have passion for and are important to you.

Having some aspect of life outside of each other is very important. It shows that you are confident and able to make yourself happy, and it is imperative in making your relationship stronger.

Remember if you cannot be happy and comfortable with yourself, no one can be happy and comfortable being with you. 

Don’t Be Threatened If Your Partner Wants Some Space

There are times when your partner will want to go out or do things alone. It doesn’t mean they don’t want to be with you; it simply means they want to be alone.

You need to give them that space without being threatened or feeling jealous about it – and that is what will make them happy to make you happy as well.

This is not a rejection; and it doesn’t mean they don’t trust you.

Some people need a bit of space once a while and from time to time – when they are worried, tired or busy – and you need to understand.

The only reason you should worry about it is if you don’t trust them; and if you don’t, then why even keep the relationship?

Intimidation Never Gets Friends 

There are people who insist that their partners do things a certain way; just that and no other way. You can’t have a good relationship if you always try to control your partner. Sometimes winning arguments can mean losing the relationship!
Boundaries are set not to dominate or intimidate our spouses, but to build healthy relationships.

“At the heart of love, there is a simple secret: the lover makes the beloved be free.” 
The best friendships do not require that anyone be in control. Rather, either party is free to be who they are.

Let your partner be free and don’t control. Give space; allow freedom. Allow privacy; prevent suspicion. Neglect this and watch your lover flee. 

REFERENCES 

1. The Friendship Factor by Alan Loy McGinnis 
2. How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie 
3. The Rules of Love by Richard Templar