LOVE IS SELFLESS

This is Love in Preference. 

To one degree or another, almost everyone prefers him/herself before others. We live in a world that is occupied with a mindset of “self”. We have a culture that teaches us to focus on our appearance, feelings, personal interests and desires as the top priority. 

One most important facet of love is unselfishness/selflessness. Love does not seek its own. Loving people are not selfish; they are selfless. The selfless nature of love makes it think about the interest of others. 

Selfishness is the Problem

If there is ever a word that simply means the opposite of love, then that is selfishness. I have come to realize that selfishness is the basis of all sins that we commit. Make mention of any kind of sin, and the root cause definitely can be traced to be selfishness. 
Unfortunately, selfishness is embedded into every person from birth. Selfish persons think first, last and always of themselves. This attitude most clearly appears in their conversation and conduct in all arena of life. It appears in the way the young act, and in the way the adult mistreat one another.

Selfishness is a habit we hate in other people but we justify in ourselves. It would be most hypocritical to point out how selfish someone is without admitting to the fact that you can be selfish too. 
Why would we have very high expectations for our friends but low standards for ourselves? 
Why would we be apt to criticize the seemingly mistakes of others but never accept the corrections made of ours? 
We are all selfish! 
When a husband puts his interests and desires in front of his wife; that is a sign of selfishness. 
When a wife constantly complains about the time and energy she spends to meet the needs of her husband; that is a sign of selfishness. 
When a child always demands his/her needs at all cost without considering its toll effect on the family and the needs of the other children; that is a sign of selfishness. 
Indeed, selfishness is the bane of problems in our realtionships, churches, workplaces, schools etc. 

Love is Selfless
But love does not seek its own. Love does not get satisfied except in the welfare of others; giving (more than it has) but expecting nothing in return. You show love to others by saying "NO" to what you want in order to say "YES" to what they need. This is putting the interests, feelings, desires and happiness of others before your own.
What a different world this would be if we would learn to become more and more unselfish.  
Selfless people have learned to always adapt and adjust to others. On the other hand, selfish people expect everyone around them to adapt and adjust to them – they cannot do this without becoming angry or getting upset. Selfish people are rigid to and intolerant of other people’s desires and interests. They are insensitive to others' needs or feelings.

If you find it difficult to sacrifice your own interests to benefit others, then you may have a deeper problem with selfishness than you may want to admit.

Ask Yourself:

 Do I truly want what is best for others?

 Do I want them to feel loved by me?

 Do they believe I have their best interest at heart?

 Do they see me as always looking out for my own first?

Love Gives Preference to Others – It Sacrifices 
Giving preference to others means allowing them to go first or to have the best of something.

We show preference when we give someone else the best cut of meat on the platter instead of keeping it back for ourselves.

We show preference when we are waiting in a line and someone behind us is pregnant or elderly and we choose to let that individual go first.

We show preference when we are first and in a hurry but we decide to be second and wait on someone else who seems to have greater need. 

Love is Impartial – It Reaches out to all

"My brethren, do not hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, [the Lord] of glory with partiality.

For if there should come into your assembly a man with gold rings, in fine apparel, and there should also come in a poor man in filthy clothes, and you pay attention to the one wearing the fine clothes and say to him, "You sit here in a good place," and say to the poor man, "You stand there," or, "Sit here at my footstool,"

Have you not shown partiality among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts?" (James 2:1-4, NKJV).

Love shows no favouritism. This doesn’t mean that we cannot have special friends or be involved in some people more than others. It means we cannot treat some people one way and other people a different way. It means we should be kind to all, especially those who cannot do us “any good.” 

Overcome selfishness by memorizing Philippians 2:3-4, and incorporate it into your life.

Think of others: the street children, the widows, the orphans, and the physically challenged.

Give hope to the hopeless and voice to the voiceless.

Love is selfless. Love flows like a mighty river; it’s not stagnant.
Enlarge your circle of love!

REFRENCE

1. Habits of a Loving Heart by Willard Tate 
2. Reduce Me to Love by Joyce Meyer 
3. Spirit-Controlled Temperament by Tim LaHaye