IF YOU LIKE IT, SAY SO!

Why are we so reluctant to declare openly that we care and love someone? Why do we restrain ourselves from letting people know we miss them, we yearn and we long for them? Psychologists say there are several reasons why we restrain ourselves from openly declaring our affection. Probably for fear of seeming sentimental and being embarrassed. Most of us hold back our expressions of warmth and thus miss out on promising rich and profound relationships. But those who are loved widely are those who usually throw caution to the winds and declare their love freely.

How could you resist it when your partner tells you, “I love you like I love my “banku” with okro stew”; and you know they truly love this meal?

Apparently, everyone loves a lover. Someone said, “If you wish to be loved, love!” We naturally tend to fall in love with those who love us. The great “pull” to love comes precisely from his/her loving you.

It is sad though, when two people come together and like each other but because both are shy, they don’t declare their affection, and the tragedy is that the love goes unreciprocated and so the relationship dies.

There is nothing that will turn a man on more than knowing that a woman really cares for him. Show me a happy man and I will show you a man who is arguably loved dearly and cared for by a woman.

On the other hand, every woman worth the name is an addict of masculine approval – and one of the nicest and effective ways you can let her know you approve of her is to voice it out – to tell her.

Giving your partner a lovely idea of themselves make them try to become as such – call her your queen, and she will react as a royal; call him your love, and he will behave lovely. This is because they accept your estimate of themselves as their true estimate of themselves.

Affirm her and let her know those beautiful parts of her physical body you like and admire – the charming eyes, the beautiful neck and legs, the good looking pointed nose, et cetera – and let her know they are among the loveliest and amazing creations of nature. Let her know you love her. Pay a good compliment to her. Appreciate her cooking, and compliment how great her meals taste. Don’t just finish eating and hurriedly rush back to the television without complimenting the meal. That will be a great sin! 

Appreciate him for his hard work, achievements and kind gestures. Do something nice for him. Let him know his worth to you. Declare to him how good he makes you feel. Let him know he is getting better and better especially when you find an improvement in an area he has been struggling. Every man will be grateful to the woman who makes him believe he is getting better and better – and the woman is not immune to this.

Let your partner have something to remember you for when you are not there – for even a day!

Don’t overlook to compliment the new things – the new hair dos and haircuts, the new dress, the new shoes – the new everything! Be observant; it wins love!

The best climate for healthy relationships is the one in which you can express your feelings freely – saying what you want to say, doing what you like to do and being what you want to be.

The Akans say “w’ani gye ade ho a, ka!” which literally means, if you like something, say it. There is a reason for this. These compliments always pay off. Freely declaring your affection immeasurably adds a lot to the amount of love you have for people. Your honest approval and compliments will make your partner love you more. Remember, affirming your partner is like putting money in the bank – the more regular deposits you make in the early years, the more dividends you gain in  the following years.

Don’t just gush out inappropriate and artificial emotions, people will soon begin to discount everything you say; don’t say anything you don’t feel, but do express every good feeling you have about others. Don’t just say I love you or I miss you when you don’t mean it, but when you do, say it.

Declare your love. Dare to talk about your affection!!!

References: 

1. How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie 
2. The Friendship Factor by Alan Loy McGinnis