THE LOVE TEST

Author: Sammy Adjei - July 07, 2019

Photo credit: shutterstock.com

Very often people ask: “How can I know that it is real love and also tell that the love is deep enough to lead us to marriage and sustain us together?

The following tests can help you determine that the love is genuine to ensure the success of the relationship.

1. The Sharing Test: True love always wants to share and give. It thinks and looks out for opportunities to give to the other. How often do you like to share with your partner a good book you read, a good counsel you received, exciting news you heard or your money? There is one thing which is indispensable for relationships. That is sharing! Share to enrich your relationships.

Ask yourself: Are we able to share together? Is our love more interested in giving than getting?

2. The Respect Test: There is no real love without respect. Does your partner have your respect? You may admire your partner for something they do; but would you feel honoured to introduce him or her to your friends, and be proud to have him or her as the father or mother of your children? Can you envision yourself walking side by side and hand in hand with this person, even in your old age?

Ask yourself: Do we really respect each other, and proud of ourselves?

3. The Habit Test: Love accepts the other one for who they are – including their shortcomings and flaws. Sure, you love each other; but can you stand the way your partner eats, talks and even laughs – which you find so disgusting – for the rest of your life, since those habits are likely not to change?

Ask yourself: Do we only love each other, or we also like each other?

4. The Quarrel Test: Have you ever had a quarrel? Don’t be deceived to believe that in true love quarrels are absent. Once you are two different people living together, there will definitely be quarrels. But the most important thing is your ability to resolve your quarrels. This ability must be a ‘required’ premarital experience – it must be trained and tested.

Ask yourself: Are we able to forgive each other and reconcile after a serious quarrel?

5. The Growth Test: Real love grows and it makes you also grow in all spheres of life – personally, professionally, spiritually, socially, and economically. How often are you interested in the growth and development of your partner? If your love doesn’t make you a better person, then it is not worth it.

Ask yourself: Are we concerned about each other’s growth, and are we growing together?

6. The Time Test: It is good to know yourselves enough; one year reasonable, two years safer. Know each other not just in church clothes, at work or social functions; but also in daily living in normal dress, with hair unwashed or unkempt, and in “horrible” situations. Know yourselves through all the seasons before making any major decisions. The old saying: “Never get married until you have summered and wintered with your partner” is very valid. Time will best test your love!

Ask yourself: Have we summered and wintered together? Do we know ourselves through all the seasons?

7. The Agape Test: The love described in First Corinthians 13 (the Love Chapter) has the quality to bind perfectly all relationships forever. It is a good exercise for partners who want to test their love for marriage by comparing it with the love [Agape] described in the Love Chapter. This love never ends and so a husband-wife relationship which is permanent needs to be patterned after it.

Ask yourself: Is our love patterned after God’s love for mankind? Does our love measure up to the characteristics of love in the Love Chapter?