SHOW LOVE WITH YOUR WORDS
One
of my favourite Bible quotations puts it right; “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and
helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them”
(Eph.4:29 NLT).
Words
are seeds which when sown into people, produce fruits and eventually manifest
in the attitude and behaviour of the person.
We
can surely manifest our love to people by the words we speak to them.
Words of Compliment
Words of Compliment
are powerful communicators of love. They are best expressed in simple and
straight forward statements such as:
“Wow!
You look beautiful in that dress.”
“You
really cook well, the food tastes good!”
“Thanks
for the help, I really appreciate.”
“Your
speech was very touching, I’m proud of you.”
Such words can send the emotional love climate of a
relationship skyrocketing. It’s no wonder Mark Twain said “I can live for two months on one
good compliment.”
Successful
lovers are “hearty in approbation and lavish in praise”.
Words of Encouragement
Another
way is the use of Words of Encouragement.
If you train your mind to search for the positive things about your significant
other, you will be surprised at the good things you can observe in them and
comment upon. Your words of encouragement to your partner in times of
insecurity can motivate them to bring out the best of untapped potentials in them.
Don’t force them, they may take them as words of judgment; but encourage them
to develop and do something that they have the interest in doing. With this,
you communicate that “I care”, “I love you”, “I believe in your abilities”, “I
will help you”. People have a way of becoming what you encourage them to be and
not what you nag them to be. It requires that you see the world from their
perspective, and learn what is important to them.
Kind Words
Love
is kind, and to show love through words means you must use Kind Words. This has to do with the way you speak. One sentence can
mean two different things – the words will say one thing and the tone of your
voice will say another. We send double messages and our partners will usually
interpret what we say based on our tone of voice rather than the words we use. The
manner in which we speak is very crucial; it can either irritate or calm
tempers down.
Humble Words
Love
uses Humble Words; it requests but
does not demand. When you demand, you seek to be the lord and not a lover, and
your partner, the servant. Your partner does not feel affirmed and valued. When
you make a request of your partner, you affirm his or her value and abilities,
showing that he or she has something or can do something that is meaningful and
worthwhile to you. We cannot get free emotional love by demands.
Indirect Words
Use
Indirect Words by saying positive
things about your loved ones in their absence. The words will eventually get to
them and your love will be “doubly-appreciated”. Tell your mother-in-law how
much you love your wife and how wonderful she is, and when her mother informs
her about it, your love for her will be amplified.
It
is also important that you affirm your partner before others in their presence.
It makes them feel more worth and valued. In your public honourary for
accomplishments and achievements, be sure that you credit your partner. It will
spur them on to go the extra mile to help you in other ventures since they know
you value their “little” assistance.
Written Words
It
is also very important to try using Written
Words. Get sheets or cards and write how invaluable your partner means to
you, paste them somewhere in the house where it can be seen and read always.
They have the benefit of being read over and over again.
Unexpected Words
Your
love through words is enhanced if you learn to express them when unexpected. There are occasions such as
after a fine speech when it is mere social custom to compliment. To wait and
recall the details of the incident later on when you might have been expected
to have forgotten them will even be more effective.
Words of Apology
“Conflicts”
are inevitable in relationships. No one is perfect, and definitely you will wrong
your partner in one way or the other. But what makes the relationship thrive is
your ability to reconcile; and reconciliation is best arrived at when a partner
is able to say “I’m sorry. Please forgive me”.
Now
consider these scriptures in relation to expression of love through words:
“Worry
weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up” (Prov.12:25, NLT).
“A
gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger” (Prov.15:1, NIV).
“Kind
words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body” (Prov.16:24, NLT).
What
do you think of them? Showing love with words is so important. It’s a
miraculous key.
There
is magic in words of love. Actions don’t always speak louder than words.
References
- The Five Love Languages by
Gary Chapman
- The Friendship Factor by Alan Loy McGinnis
- Reduce Me to Love by Joyce Meyer
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