DEVELOPING AND MAINTAINING A LOVELY LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
It is a true saying that “absence makes the heart grow fonder”, but I also have the conviction that “distance makes the heart grow stronger.”
Having
and maintaining a long distance relationship can be both a challenging and a rewarding
experience. Most long distance relationships fail not because it is not
possible, but because one or both of the parties involved do not have the
required desire to make it work. If both parties show love, patience and
commitment, and plan very well, they will enjoy a very exciting, happy and
successful long distance relationship.
Some
tips to help you enjoy a long distance relationship:
1. Be Committed:
It is important for both of you to be equally committed, with the view of
working to develop and maintain the relationship. Let your partner know you are
committed to the relationship. Both of you should be on the same page in terms
of investing your time, energy and resources into it.
2. Express Your Love: Since
you are not together and cannot express your love to one another in person,
sending a card, text message, gift etc. to express your love can be a great way
to bring about closeness between you and your partner to make you happy. Even
though there is distance always, remind your love how beautiful or handsome
they are and think of creative ways to tell them you love them.
3. Communicate Often: Learn
your partner’s preferred method of communication and find ways to communicate
very often. A happy and healthy long distance relationship requires a great
deal of communication. It can be by phone call, text, letter, or social media. It
makes you feel closer to each other especially in difficult times. However, if
you keep pestering them with phone calls, text messages etc., it can become
annoying and lead to a potential fight. Effective communication skills that
will bring about closeness and understanding are imperative in a long distance
relationship.
4. Trust Each Other: Give
each other the total benefit of the doubt when there are suspicions. Reassure
your partner of your trust in them and his/her importance to you. Let your
partner know that even though you are separated by distance, you are always
thinking about him/her.
Distance can be a very
testing element on two people who love and care about one another, and since
both of you are apart, you must find a way to maintain trust in one another. Be
transparent to each other and build confidence in one another to erase all
jealousies and suspicions.
5. Make Dates To See Each Other:
Schedule and keep track of times in the year where you can meet; possibly at a
location half-way between the two of you. Whether it is months or weeks away,
plan a time to see each other and mark it on your calendar. Waiting to see and
catching up with the one you love is something that can be very exciting and
worth waiting for.
6. Pick Your Battles:
It can be very difficult to understand each other well when you are not
together and unable to see each other in person. Issues will crop up that
probably would not have occurred if you were actually together. It is something
that people who love each other do, but always talk it out and understand each other.
The stress of being apart can have people act certain ways but it doesn’t mean
you don’t love one another. Your relationship as a whole will be much healthier
and happier if you only choose to make an issue out of your differences and
work on it.
7. Be On the Same Page (Be Mutual): One
thing partners have to do to make their long distance relationship an enjoyable
one is for them to be on the same page with what each other expects from the
relationship. There should be mutual respect for each other’s opinions,
feelings, ideas etc. Mutual respect should be the password/keyword of the
relationship. If the feeling is mutual, the sky will be the limit for your
relationship.
8. Have Common Goals:
You must learn to set common goals and work together towards achieving them.
Find something that the two of you can do despite the distance; have a daily,
weekly or monthly plan of it and work together towards it. You should also help
each other to achieve your individual goals. Planning aspects of your life
together helps to make the long distance of your relationship seem less of a
barrier.
9. Have Your Own Life: Fulfill
your happiness on your own by doing things you have passion for and are
important to you. Spend time with the people you care so much about in life.
Having some aspect of life outside of each other is very important whether in a
long distance relationship or not. It shows your partner that you are confident
and able to make yourself happy, and it is imperative in making your
relationship stronger. However, don’t forget to make time to talk to your partner.
They will be happy to hear you are working hard on your own and still care about
them. Remember if you cannot be happy and comfortable with yourself, no one can
be happy and comfortable being with you.
10. Remember Them:
“Out of sight, out of mind” they say, but one important aspect of helping to
keep a healthy long distance relationship is your ability to remember your
partner always. Remember important days in their life and celebrate it with
them. Remember your partner when you go shopping. Even if it will be months
until you see your sweetheart, it will be good to pick up something today for
them, so they will know you were thinking of them. Imagine how your partner
will feel when s/he visits you after a number of months and you meet him/her
with a gift you bought for him/her when you went shopping some time past – it
will be all joy!
11. Think Long-Term: It
is important that you have a reflective thinking about where and how you want
the relationship to be in the long run, and how important the relationship is
to you. Think of why you are in the relationship –because you are lonely or
just for people to know you are also with someone? Always have something to
look forward to together. Make sure you are in the relationship for the right
reasons and that will motivate you to work for its success.
12. Don’t Give Up:
Ultimately, don’t give up! Even when the going gets tough, stand by each other,
motivate each other and know that it shall come to pass. As long as you both
want it, you will be able to overcome any hurdle no matter how many miles apart
you are.
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